Different people have different passions. They usually fall into the following categories: art, music, painting, photography, writing, dancing, “helping people”, animals, etc. Usually, we spend a greater part of our early-late 20′s trying to find our own individual “passion.” Mine you ask? Eating. Eating is my passion. Not food itself… definitely not cooking… just good ol’ food2mouth, perhaps with a fork… perhaps not.
There’s this website out. It’s kind of like Facebook and MySpace, except instead of leaving comments for friends, you leave comments for places you’ve eaten. Billions and trillions of users across the interweb are able to lay down their two cents and live their childhood dream of becoming food critics. It’s called Yelp. Have you heard of it? It’s pretty awesome. I found alot of fun places to eat and take my non-existent girlfriend to.
However, I’ve noticed that many of the comments (or “reviews”) on there are starting to get really, really stuffy. Many have touched on a new degree of elitism– it’s kind of like those high-horses reviewing albums at Pitchfork, except for food. And it’s not even educated elitism. It’s faux pseudo-intellect masquerading as elitism. Usually, these are written by Asian people. Asian people are weird. Many of them have weird witticisms as their tag quote, like “You find love in food.” What does that even mean? If I found love in my food, I’d quickly ask the waiter to take it back.
Sometimes, you’ll get the review where the person tells a long elaborate story, and they think they’re really funny. Except at the end, you’ll realize their story had no point, and you realize that either a) this person really, really like’s typing, or b) it was one of those “had to be there” stories. “Had to be there stories” are hard to tell, because you have to be there. But you’re not. So it’s hard.
Also, (and I think this might apply to the internet as a whole), but people use alot of big words incorrectly. Using large words on the internet is the new TyPiNg LiKe DiS, or the new abbreviation (for example, “lawl.”)
Anyway, Yelp is getting really pretentious, but it’s more reliable than making friends who recommend places for you to eat. One time, I had this friend who took me to a Mexican food place that was touted as “the best Mexican food EVER!” and then it turned out to be okay.
One last thing– alot of reviewers will give a place “lower” ratings for not being “authentic.” Like, Panda Express is frowned upon. So is Taco Bell. They’re often described as “bastardized” versions of the original. Well guess what? I think you’re a bastardized version of an original. Americanized “ethnic” food is just as tasty, if not more so than their ancestors.
Deep fried orange chicken? Double decker tacos? Inauthenticity = INNOVATION. If not for innovation, we’d never have things like Hot Pockets, or jelly filled donuts. Like, would you rather have a burrito without french fries in it, or a burrito with french fries in it? These are really easy questions to answer. Be honest with he (or she) who matters most– yourself.
Moral of the story: Don’t get left behind. The future is now.
Moral of the story #2: Don’t use big words.
I’ll eat to that.
// Caspian De La Sanchez
