Band of the Week: Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan are a noise punk band hailing from New Jersey. They make thrashy, noisy, noise that sounds like two robots making unlubricated love on a rusty sewer grate. They are also named after a black basketball player, even though they’re white! I know, right? They must be really self-aware and ironic/post-ironic. They’re also probably voting for Obama. Jay kay. Voting’s for college kids who think their opinions matter (silly!).

Here’s what one critic had to say:

This may have been the worst band I have ever seen. Normally when I see a band open a show and not do so well I choose to omit them from my review of the show, this time though the band was so awful I just can’t possibly do that. The emo-ish sextet attempted to copy Yellowcard all night and couldn’t even handle that relatively simple task. Their violinist, if you can call him that, butchered his instrument, occasionally playing with his teeth and for some reason making it sound like a kazoo coming out of the amps. Their drummers, that’s right two drummers, were even worse. They spent the entire set out of time and with only the vaguest sense of rhythm. But what really got me about the band was the lead singer’s heinous voice, it was just awful. I don’t even have anything to compare it to, maybe a cat wailing in an alley somewhere. If the cat had just been shot. And had its ears cut off. And was being raped by a bulldog. This band should really disband in a hurry. ….” – Pop Tarts Suck Toasted

Two words. Yes.

Check them out now.

// Christopher Christofferson